this life for rent

Heath Ledger out and about with his daughter, Matilda Rose.

I'm very uncomfortable when people my age die.

It was bizarre when I was a child. Under the age of 20, you are suppose to be invincible.

At 28,I have gone past the magic age*. To some morbid point, deaths have to be expected.

*(And the magic age? 27. After the death of Mr. Cobain, I realized my favourite dead celebrities all died at 27. Also known as the 27 Club. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Club.)

But Heath Ledger's death has blindsided me. If I had read the news this morning and learned that Ms. Spears was found dead, I would mutter something about it being tragic but expected, look up a few sources and write a brief entry about the poison that is fame for fame's sake.

We worry that Britney Spears will kill herself before the end of the year, but I believe she will be just fine. Not my definition of normal, but fine.

The loud ones, while painful to watch, will be okay.

It's the quiet ones, the "good children" that you need to pay extra attention to.

Mr. Ledger kept to himself. He spent time with his daughter. He came back into the spotlight recently for his work as The Joker in the yet to be released "Dark Knight" film.

Did he kill himself? I don't know. I am only a writer. They haven't asked me to do a tox screen. They found prescription and over the counter sleeping pills at the scene. Perhaps he was so desperate for sleep, in his exhaustion he mixed pills, so sleep deprived he didn't know what he was doing.


Today will be monopolized by the death of Heathcliff Andrew Ledger.

People will talk about the tragedy.

They will talk about how young he was, what a talented actor he was, how his greatest work was still ahead of him.

I will miss him as an actor. I will wonder when watching films made later if Heath would have done a better job in certain roles.

I will have a Heath Ledger movie marathon in his honour today.

I will probably not be the only one doing this.

Tragedy. We've lost one of the good actors.

But the greatest tragedy of this situation involves his daughter, Matilda Rose.

Matilda Rose, two years old, will not remember her father. She will be reminded from time to time of her father; shown pictures, told stories. These won't be her memories.

For a child to lose a parent before they even get a chance to know them. This surpasses everything else about this situation.

R.I.P., Mr. Ledger.