this life for rent

Don't let those watery doe eyes fool you. This Alpaca has blood lust.




Tenatively, I reach out in friendship to stroke the angel fart soft Alpaca.



It lures me in. "Why hello fleshy, I mean, friendly human. Yes, come closer. Stroke me. That's it..."





It goes in for the kill, slowly but viciously attacking my forearm. It caught me by surprise, but I am pretty certain this is what my "Facing Death" face will look like.




I manage to pry myself from it's Jaws of Tickly Death. But it had tasted my sweet A positive blood. And it wanted more.






So I succumb. My photographer, Jonathan, managed to pry me away saving most of my left arm. Good thing I am a quarter Lizard and able to regenerate at will. He asked, "Why did you just let it consume 2/3 of your left arm?"

I replied, "Because it was so soft."


That Alpaca has a taste of my blood now. Like the crocodile to Captain Hook, it will hunt me for the rest of my days until it gets the rest of me. I say bring it. Not because I am looking for a fight. But, if I have to die, I want to be eaten alive by an Alpaca. It truly would be the softest way to die.


FIN

Source:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25391565/from/ET/>1=43001


Do you live in a sweaty city? Check the list.

1. Phoenix, Ariz.
2. Las Vegas, Nev.
3. Tallahassee, Fla.
4. Tucson, Ariz.
5. Memphis, Tenn.
6. Miami, Fla.
7. Houston, Texas
8. Tampa, Fla.
9. Baton Rouge, La.
10. Fort Myers, Fla.( Read more... )