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Quotes from the 2008 Shadowrun campaign
Sep. 23rd, 2009 03:47 pmWhile cleaning out the office, I stumbled upon some quotes I had written down during the 2008 Shadowrun campaign Jonathan ran. Enjoy.
Shadowrun 2008
GM - Jonathan
Players - Cliff, Kenny, Jacob, Skip, Jaime, Blair, Christin
4/6/08
Kenny - So, when things get hot and heavy, what can you do besides fix things?
Jacob - Oh G-d man, Jesus! I'm not going to be there.
--
Kenny - Yes, Soylent Green is troll.
4/13/2008
Cliff - If sitting there talking about porn counted as porn, I would have lost my virginity in junior high.
Jaime - Well, he's sitting there with his cock hanging out.
Cliff - (beat) Yep, junior high.
--
Jaime - When do trolls hit puberty?
Cliff - Whenever they want.
--(Note: Remember Cliff's Katherine Hepburn impression.) I still remember it. It is still hilarious.
--
Jonathan - Troll walks into a bar...
Kenny - ...bar says ow.
--
Kenny - Yes, he strips at Puke-n-Dales.
Cliff - Now I have the image of a troll doing the Chris Farley Chippendales dance.
--
Group - (singing) I want a troll with a slow hand. I want a troll with an easy touch.
--
Kenny - Four score and seven years ago, I was here. You're late, motherfucker.
--
Jonathan - He pulls out a map...
Cliff - (troll voice) This is Magna Carta!
--
Jaime - Shocking. Skip's the one causing us to be late for something.
Skip is never on time, except for important things like weddings and funerals.
--
Jaime - That's my back up plan, act like a pedophile.
Cliff - Oh, great plan!
Kenny - They'll never suspect the child molester!
--
Kenny - Matrix, matrix, matrix, I made it out of clay...
Jonathan - ...and when it's dry and ready, with matrix I will play.
--
Jonathan - Justice, what is your reaction?
Christin - My reaction? EAAUGGHHHH!
(response to Skip's character being bitten by giant rat.)
--
Jonathan - Next, we are going to attack Ajax with rats.
Cliff - Bring it on lil' bitches! (Cliff's playing a troll.)
--
Cliff - Please, I live in the slums. Like I don't have to deal with rats. Everytime I try to take a crap, they're coming out of my toilet. And it's a troll toilet, so they're this big. (Big.)
--
4/27/08
Jacob - Anyone want to know what's in the case?
Everyone - NO!
Jaime - You're not even in the van with the case!
Jacob - (beat) (imitates CB radio) Anyone want to know what's in the case?
Shadowrun 2008
GM - Jonathan
Players - Cliff, Kenny, Jacob, Skip, Jaime, Blair, Christin
4/6/08
Kenny - So, when things get hot and heavy, what can you do besides fix things?
Jacob - Oh G-d man, Jesus! I'm not going to be there.
--
Kenny - Yes, Soylent Green is troll.
4/13/2008
Cliff - If sitting there talking about porn counted as porn, I would have lost my virginity in junior high.
Jaime - Well, he's sitting there with his cock hanging out.
Cliff - (beat) Yep, junior high.
--
Jaime - When do trolls hit puberty?
Cliff - Whenever they want.
--(Note: Remember Cliff's Katherine Hepburn impression.) I still remember it. It is still hilarious.
--
Jonathan - Troll walks into a bar...
Kenny - ...bar says ow.
--
Kenny - Yes, he strips at Puke-n-Dales.
Cliff - Now I have the image of a troll doing the Chris Farley Chippendales dance.
--
Group - (singing) I want a troll with a slow hand. I want a troll with an easy touch.
--
Kenny - Four score and seven years ago, I was here. You're late, motherfucker.
--
Jonathan - He pulls out a map...
Cliff - (troll voice) This is Magna Carta!
--
Jaime - Shocking. Skip's the one causing us to be late for something.
Skip is never on time, except for important things like weddings and funerals.
--
Jaime - That's my back up plan, act like a pedophile.
Cliff - Oh, great plan!
Kenny - They'll never suspect the child molester!
--
Kenny - Matrix, matrix, matrix, I made it out of clay...
Jonathan - ...and when it's dry and ready, with matrix I will play.
--
Jonathan - Justice, what is your reaction?
Christin - My reaction? EAAUGGHHHH!
(response to Skip's character being bitten by giant rat.)
--
Jonathan - Next, we are going to attack Ajax with rats.
Cliff - Bring it on lil' bitches! (Cliff's playing a troll.)
--
Cliff - Please, I live in the slums. Like I don't have to deal with rats. Everytime I try to take a crap, they're coming out of my toilet. And it's a troll toilet, so they're this big. (Big.)
--
4/27/08
Jacob - Anyone want to know what's in the case?
Everyone - NO!
Jaime - You're not even in the van with the case!
Jacob - (beat) (imitates CB radio) Anyone want to know what's in the case?
