this life for rent

While cleaning out the office, I stumbled upon some quotes I had written down during the 2008 Shadowrun campaign Jonathan ran. Enjoy.

Shadowrun 2008
GM - Jonathan
Players - Cliff, Kenny, Jacob, Skip, Jaime, Blair, Christin

4/6/08
Kenny - So, when things get hot and heavy, what can you do besides fix things?
Jacob - Oh G-d man, Jesus! I'm not going to be there.

--

Kenny - Yes, Soylent Green is troll.


4/13/2008
Cliff - If sitting there talking about porn counted as porn, I would have lost my virginity in junior high.

Jaime - Well, he's sitting there with his cock hanging out.

Cliff - (beat) Yep, junior high.

--

Jaime - When do trolls hit puberty?
Cliff - Whenever they want.

--(Note: Remember Cliff's Katherine Hepburn impression.) I still remember it. It is still hilarious.

--

Jonathan - Troll walks into a bar...
Kenny - ...bar says ow.

--
Kenny - Yes, he strips at Puke-n-Dales.
Cliff - Now I have the image of a troll doing the Chris Farley Chippendales dance.

--
Group - (singing) I want a troll with a slow hand. I want a troll with an easy touch.

--
Kenny - Four score and seven years ago, I was here. You're late, motherfucker.

--
Jonathan - He pulls out a map...
Cliff - (troll voice) This is Magna Carta!

--
Jaime - Shocking. Skip's the one causing us to be late for something.

Skip is never on time, except for important things like weddings and funerals.

--

Jaime - That's my back up plan, act like a pedophile.

Cliff - Oh, great plan!

Kenny - They'll never suspect the child molester!

--
Kenny - Matrix, matrix, matrix, I made it out of clay...

Jonathan - ...and when it's dry and ready, with matrix I will play.

--

Jonathan - Justice, what is your reaction?

Christin - My reaction? EAAUGGHHHH!
(response to Skip's character being bitten by giant rat.)

--

Jonathan - Next, we are going to attack Ajax with rats.

Cliff - Bring it on lil' bitches! (Cliff's playing a troll.)

--

Cliff - Please, I live in the slums. Like I don't have to deal with rats. Everytime I try to take a crap, they're coming out of my toilet. And it's a troll toilet, so they're this big. (Big.)

--

4/27/08

Jacob - Anyone want to know what's in the case?

Everyone - NO!

Jaime - You're not even in the van with the case!

Jacob - (beat) (imitates CB radio) Anyone want to know what's in the case?