square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
1.) Go on a spending diet for six weeks.

2.) Train to run a 5K.

3.) Crochet every pattern out of Twinkie Chan's Crochet Goodies for Fashion Foodies: 20 Yummy Treats to Wear by Twinkie Chan.

4.) Draw something daily.

5.) Finish manuscript.

6.)Less talk, more action.

7.) Overcome irrational fear of sewing machine and learn how to sew.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)

This disappointed cookie lived a rather long life thanks to the positioning of certain chocolate chips during the baking process. Any other cookie would have been gone in seconds, and Disapproving Richard Thomas cookie was on a similar path until I decided to look at what I was about to eat.

I knew at some point it would meet it's end. And I wanted to get photographic evidence of Disapproving Richard Thomas cookie before that time.

(That time was about a day later, when Jonathan had a sweet tooth moment and ate Disapproving Richard Thomas cookie.)

Disapproving Richard Thomas cookie is named such, due to the chocolate chip mole positioned over it's disapproving chocolate chip frown in a manner similar to how Richard Thomas, aka John Boy from The Walton's looked when he didn't have time for the shenanigan's of his 12,000 other siblings.

John Boy doesn't have time for your whining, Mary Ellen, John Boy has serious writin' and thinkin' to do now.

Something about the flash reflecting on the plate has turned Disapproving Richard Thomas cookie from a mere baked good with humourously positioned chocolate, to an eerie cookie prophet, casting judgment on all who gaze upon it's glory.

So gaze upon Disapproving Richard Thomas cookie and prepare to be judged and feel great shame in how disappointing you are.

Or just accept your judgment and be amused by a cookie that bears a resemblance to a seventies teenage heartthrob.

Whatever works for you.

Sexy teen heart throb John Boy, thanks you for your time.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
Drinking Bison's Organic Gingerbread Ale, Boylan's Creamy Red Birch Beer (with cane sugar!), and a giant glass of water.

It is a night of fluids and mad, mad, mad, mad crafting.

Just finished knitting one winter present. Getting ready to start another one. Not going to list how many I have left, or I will start to cry.

I have a Judd Apatow film marathon to keep me company.

My Chanukah present (octava noche) of Questionable Content Volume 1 by Jeph Jacques is an evil temptress. She hangs out on the coffee table, right at the edge of my peripheral vision. Luring me to drop the needles and dive into a highly desired read.

But the presents need to be finished. And I have bizarre seasonal booze and Kosher soda to keep me going through the night.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
Tis the season for most of my friends' list having to deal with hospital level illnesses apparently.

Best wishes to everyone and here is to a speedy recovery.

Interestingly enough, the majority dealing with hospital what not are not from the United States.

As an American, I am programed to feel empathy and concern as to how you are going to cover all of those hospital bills.

Now, I understand, that you live in a country with a crazy notion that sick and injured people have the right to receive help without taking a third mortgage out on their house.

But as an American, I was raised to believe health care is a luxury. Like name brand cereal, gourmet dining, or manicures/pedicures for pets.

So I got to thinking, perhaps my non American friends might like to know how the American brain works when it comes to health care. What we think and why we might stay at home and chose to make a duct tape cast for our broken arm instead of taking out a fifth mortgage on the house to see a doctor.

Enter my brain, won't you?

I have insurance, and it still cost $300 per night to stay in a hospital. (Not counting any tests that are run, or if they need to give me medicine or a bandage.)

So even with insurance, I am hesitant to see a doctor.

Four years ago, when I woke up vomiting blood. I went to work. Why?

One, I needed the money.

Two, I stopped vomiting for an hour and figured I was alright.

Three, in the States, blood vomit requires a hospital visit. Even if I showed up to my primary care doctor, she would have dismissed me and told me to go to the hospital.

(Note, not send me in a vehicle to the hospital. I would be discharged with something so serious a physician can not handle it. But be expected to get to the hospital, which is on the other side of town, on my own accord.)

Since work was a short walk and the hospital is a long walk, I chose work.

Eventually my work sent me home. Apparently, my blood loss gave me a disturbing look that frightened the students.

So I walked home and continued my vomit-a-thon.

Soon enough, I thought I was going to die. But what if I didn't die? There would be a huge hospital bill to deal with.

I vomited some more and thought about my options.

Finally, I go to the hospital, I was given dozens of expensive, even with insurance, tests.

As each vial of blood was drawn, I saw another week of groceries go into the garbage.

Who needs food, right?

After a half day ordeal, I was diagnosed with a simple case of gastritis. I was told to not eat for a few days, living off of water, and then work my way up to clear broths.

A month later, I received the hospital bill.

A day after the bill arrived I received a call from the hospital collections agency.

You see, I hadn't paid my bill yet. (The one that arrived 24 hours earlier.) And they were getting ready to send my case to a collections agency.

Everything worked out. But it required me missing a day of work to hunt various people down on the telephone at the hospital in order to pay my damn bill.

Which I used a credit card for. Because they don't take cheques over the phone.

Most Americans have to take out a credit card for, or use one they already have to pay for their medical expenses.

Yes, it's true, Americans are in a lot of credit card debt. But we aren't all rolling in the latest designer clothes with the latest gadget. A lot of this debt is due to not having the funds to cover hospital and medical expenses.

And not everyone has the funds available to pay off the credit card in full before the next month rolls around. If they did, they wouldn't have used the credit card to pay for their hospital or doctor visit in the first place.

(I am fortunate that the only reason I had to use a credit card over the phone was due to them wanting the money ASAP and not taking a debit card (at the time, mine did not have a credit card logo) or a cheque. I was fortunate enough to be able to pay it off in full the next month. I ate meagerly for awhile, but it was paid off.)

And that is how the cycle begins. Or continues.

I am not really certain where I was going with this.

Moral of the story, if you live outside of the United States and have a Yankee friend visit you who then becomes ill or hurts themselves, this is the reason why they are hesitant to go see a doctor.

We aren't brash adventurers who walk off broken legs because we are just that badass.

We are broken by a system that tells us health is a luxury.

square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
1.) Just in time for the first night of Chanukah/Hannukah/That Jewish holiday where we celebrate not getting killed by eating tasty fried foods, an awesome present from my friend Brina.

Jonathan and I got into a debate over what it could be.

Me: (holding unopened post) Oh! It's from Sabrina! She's making gifts this year.

::opens post, pulls out odd pizza slice shaped parcel::

Jonathan: It's a slice of pizza?

Me: There's a note. ::reads note about Hannukah/Chanukah/More latkes please holiday present::

Jonathan: Ah, so it's Hannukah pizza.

Read more... )
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)

For the first time in two years, I had my hair professionally* cut yesterday. I received a coupon in the mail for a free hair cut from a local spa. My split ends had five generations of split ends. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Overall I had 4"/10cm cut off. I feel a little naked now, but my hair looks so much healthier. Then the stylist flat ironed my hair.

It was hilarious, When she first touched my hair, she let out what could only be described as a hair stylist orgasm. Not to brag, but I get that a lot. With my thick,strong hair and my "Whatever" flexibility to how my hair is styled, I am a stylist's wet dream.

*I have been trimming my hair during this time, but in a half hazard, I really have no idea what I am doing sort of way.


(Also, ZOMG so excited only one more day until I get to see HP7!)
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)

Don't let those watery doe eyes fool you. This Alpaca has blood lust.

Tenatively, I reach out in friendship to stroke the angel fart soft Alpaca.

It lures me in. "Why hello fleshy, I mean, friendly human. Yes, come closer. Stroke me. That's it..."

It goes in for the kill, slowly but viciously attacking my forearm. It caught me by surprise, but I am pretty certain this is what my "Facing Death" face will look like.

I manage to pry myself from it's Jaws of Tickly Death. But it had tasted my sweet A positive blood. And it wanted more.

So I succumb. My photographer, Jonathan, managed to pry me away saving most of my left arm. Good thing I am a quarter Lizard and able to regenerate at will. He asked, "Why did you just let it consume 2/3 of your left arm?"

I replied, "Because it was so soft."

That Alpaca has a taste of my blood now. Like the crocodile to Captain Hook, it will hunt me for the rest of my days until it gets the rest of me. I say bring it. Not because I am looking for a fight. But, if I have to die, I want to be eaten alive by an Alpaca. It truly would be the softest way to die.

square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
1.) I came across a month, a MONTH of strips I drew for Every Sad Story Needs Nuns documenting February 2010 of my life. I think I will scan them and update ESSNN.

What a great surprise and what a push to start doing ESSNN again.

Although, I don't know if I want to attempt to remember daily what happened from March 2010 through November 2010.

Maybe I'll draw a strip for each month after February summarizing events of said month until I am caught up?

It's funny, I recall finishing these strips and being so ashamed of them. The quality of the artwork I thought was awful. The story lines were lame.

Now, nine months later, I find them a little cute and a reminder of some events that I completely forgot about.

I still need to work on my artwork and my storytelling, but I remember these strips being far more horrible upon original completion.

(Which is why I hid them in my writing portfolio.)

Morale of the story? I need to hide my artwork more often. No wait, I need to step away from a project for awhile before condemning it.

I am a poor judge when it comes to the quality of my work.

2.) Last night was a breakthrough night in drawing. I'm re-reading "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" to prepare for the upcoming film. While I read, I was inspired to create some Crappy Lil' Charms. I whipped out my sketchbook and drew a couple of designs.

Later on, Jonathan and I got into a discussion of what he would be like as a gladiator (We are watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand.) which lead to another sketch. This time of Jonathan as a gladiator.

Jonathan pointed out that I have hit a point in my skills where I just think of something and sketch it without looking for references.

This is exciting. Obviously I still use reference shots for a number of drawings. (To get things to scale and what not.) But I am finally reaching a comfort with my own style that I will just draw what comes to mind.

I don't know how to explain it more properly. All I know is, a year ago, I would not have attempted to draw Jonathan as a gladiator, much less sketch up designs without worrying about whether I was doing it "right" or not.

3.)I'm really getting into making tiny useless charms. I'm trying not to jinx myself, but I am contemplating opening up an Etsy shop called "Crappy Lil' Charms" to sell a few of the charms I make once I reach a level of confidence in my skill.

I would focus on kawaii foods, fandom charms and the like. Maybe make crochet markers and knitting markers, charm bracelets, mobile phone charms, earrings, et cetera.

I'm not expecting this to turn into a career. I just really enjoy making crappy lil' charms and have no need for every single one I make. If I could make enough to buy more craft supplies to make more, I would be happy with that.

Just an idea. I need to do further research on the legality of selling crafts. I know there are a few books out there on the topic.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
I've decided I will know I have "made it" when I have experienced the following:

1.) I receive hate e-mails about my work.

2.) I develop a fan base.

3.) A fan compliments my work by stating they want to have my babies.

4.) I am invited to speak on a panel about the subject of which the thing I do is about, at a convention.

4a.) Bonus points if they give me a free membership.

4b.) Extra bonus points if they want me so badly they fly me to said convention.

4c.) Level up bonus points if it is Dragon*Con.

5.) People want to give me money for the things I write and draw.

6.) I see someone wearing a t-shirt with the thing that I made on it.

6a.) Bonus points if they recognize me.

6b.) Extra bonus points if they want me to ruin their shirt with my autograph.

7.) I work with Jorge Garcia on a project.


Alright, enough fantasizing. Back to drawing things and writing words.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
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I am fine with anyone trick-or-treating. My only requirement is you put some effort into your costume. Being a middle school kid dressed in middle school clothes and carting around a plastic grocery bag you found in the bin is not going to cut it.

I understand not everyone can afford an expensive costume, but be creative with what you have around the house.

A stick of eyeliner is $1, and that can do wonders as face makeup.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)

Words. Words. Words. Words. Words.

I am writing a lot more lately. It feels wonderful. I'm excited about NaNoWriMo. Giddy almost. Like a teenager before their first slumber party. I don't know why this year should be different from any other. Perhaps the larger number of friends participating in the madness too?


After a six month hiatus, I'm starting up Every Sad Story Needs Nuns again.

Right now I have a zombie movie marathon* going while I draw up strips in my sketch book.

This post would be a lot cooler if I included a sample drawing of what I'm working on.

But I don't have a scanner and don't want to hook up my Bamboo tablet to my netbook.

I want to get a flatbed scanner. Something that can scan pages larger than 8" x 11" without cutting of the edges.

Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.


It's cold**. I took advantage of the crisp weather and baked up a batch of vegan pumpkin muffins and bread loaves.

Came across some sketches I made of future crappy lil' charms. Looks like I know what I will be crafting this weekend.

In the line of Crochet Today magazine, is a new magazine called Knitting Today. I picked up the premiere issue, mostly because it contains a pattern for a hat similar to the one Schwartz wears in the film "A Christmas Story".

Schwartz, on the viewer's right, aka not the kid with his tongue stuck to the pole.


*Also, I have decided a movie marathon is somewhere between four and six hours in length. Since that is the standard time range it takes an advanced to a beginner runner to run the distance of 26 miles.

**Cold in Florida is anything below 70F/21C. That's when we whip out the wool sweaters and parkas.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
* I decided to check my email before going to bed last night. This was a good idea. I received an email from a publisher letting me know the piece I submitted many moons ago will be including in an anthology.

I've been published before. But this will be the first time in a physical book with an ISBN and everything.

Right now I am working on a brief bio to send to the publisher, plus some paperwork I need to review and sign and that what not.

I really have Jonathan to thank for this. He was the one who pushed me to submit my piece in the first place.

* I am participating in NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. Thirty days in November to write a 50,000 word novel.


I still have no idea what my novel will be about. I guess that adds to the fun of the experience.

* Only a few more days until Halloween. This year I am dressing up as a Dia de los Muertos lady, aka "A chick with a painted skeleton face in fancy dress with roses in her hair".

New blog

Oct. 19th, 2010 09:45 am
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Not leaving Livejournal. However, I have started a blog to document my fitness and weight loss. Because I don't want to bore y'all. Plus, I find it easier to upload pictures to a decent size on blogger, and I plan on doing a little webcomic to incorporate with my entries over there.


Fun Fact: The endorsements I list on the right side of the blog, are actually quotes about me. I wish I could make that stuff up.
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" It's easier to figure out how to get another iPhone or a flat-screen TV or a trip to Bermuda or some other life distraction than to think about these questions. Like, How should I live? Like, What is my life really for?

It's easier to assume that the purpose of life is to get a good job and a good salary and a good box to live in and another good box to ride in and hope that the boxes will keep you safe from everything. Including these questions. We all, I think, want to hide from the questions."

-Colin Beavan, 'No Impact Man'

square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
Last Saturday I became overwhelmed with the sudden desire to make something tiny out of Sculpey clay. Random, I know. After a trip to Michael's craft store and Lowe's hardware, I had the materials needed for making something wee out of clay.

But what to make? This would be my first time using Sculpey. Best to set my sights low.

So I rolled up a bunch of balls. Flattened a few of them and came to the conclusion that they would become tiny Christmas tree ornaments.

The process is relatively simple, but a little time consuming. I was inspired by this tutorial I found.


Crap to make the shit:

Giant block of Sculpey because it was a better deal than the smaller block per ounce, but let's be honest, the regular block would have been more than enough and you are just trying to convince yourself this hobby will totally take off and land you a stellar Etsy shop then a spot on the Martha Stewart show.

Cheapass acrylic paints because you don't need the expensive brand because let's be honest, this will at most give you kickass Christmas and birthday presents and not a career, stop being delusional!

Toothpicks for making wee kawaii faces.

Mechanical pencil leftover from an RPG session. This will make the eyes.

Steel wire that you couldn't find in Lowe's until you had a temper tantrum in front of the display of said steel wire.

Wire clippers

Needlenose pliers

Coffee table, aka your totally awesome workstation

Old paper bag, aka your totally awesome workstation tarp

Tea candle, aka your totally awesome drying rack

Let's Do This!:
1. Shape Sculpey clay into desired form.

2. Make a loop out of steel wire and insert into above desired form.

3. Bake item for around 20 minutes at 275 F/ 135 C

4. Remove from oven. Make certain to burn your fingers as you try to pick up the tiny charms to see if they are hot. Yes they are hot. They've been in a very hot oven for almost half an hour, idiot. Let them cool

4a. OPTIONAL: Dump them onto a wood cutting board and pretend you are a giant or a half-orc making treats for your tiny human friends.

5. Apply first wash of paint to item, let dry, repeat until desired colour is achieved. I recommend hanging them off of something. I improvised using a bit of the steel wire turned into hooks and jammed into a tea candle I had laying about.

6. OPTIONAL: Using random tiny bits from around the house, make a wee kawaii face on said item. Use the mechanical pencil dipped in a bit of paint to make the eyes and shit.

7. Apply glaze. Let glaze dry. Glaze makes it shiny and takes your item from tiny, useless and crappy to tiny, shiny, useless and crappy.

8. OPTIONAL: Take crappy photographs of said first attempt at using Sculpey and post on the internet like the attention whore you are.

Honestly, not bad for a first attempt. I need to work on the eyes. 3/4 of them look a little derp, derp, in my humble opinion.

And they are wee.

Audience: How wee are they?

Very wee.

So, I guess those of you that celebrate Winter Capitalism Day or Christmas that I actually exchange presents with know what to expect in your stocking from me.

Lil' crappy Sculpey charms with no real use.

Happy Holidays, bitches.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
Me: Okay, so what is the deal with this meme about liking "it" on different surfaces and locations?

Facebook: Well, you see it is rather clever.

Me: Oh?

Facebook: Yes, indeed. You type out where you like to keep your purse, and it coyly looks like a reference to sex.

Me: Okay.

Facebook: Then, people reading the status update will think about sex. And then they will naturally think about breasts because that is the hetero-normative thing to do. Which naturally, leads to thinking about breast cancer.

Me: I'm sorry, what was that last part?

Facebook: Breast cancer, keep up now! Anyway, then the reader is thinking about breast cancer, because it is Breast Cancer Awareness month in the States.

Me: Then what?

Facebook: What do you mean?

Me: Okay, lets say that coyly referring to where you keep your purse somehow leads the reader to think about breast cancer. Is that it?

Facebook: Well, yes, we want to make people AWARE of BREAST CANCER. It being breast cancer awareness month and all.

Me: Are you seriously trying to tell me that there are people out there who have not heard of breast cancer?

Facebook: Well, maybe a couple or two deep in the Amazon....

Me: And these two people in the Amazon manage to have internet access and a Facebook account but somehow have managed to not learn about breast cancer?

Facebook: But AWARENESS!

Me: Here is a crazy idea. Instead of coyly referring to where you place your purse, why not write in your status "Hey it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Make a donation to help fund further research to end this heinous disease."

Facebook: By purchasing a pink tchotcke?

Me: No, you don't need a pink tchotcke to show you support the end of breast cancer. Besides, a very small portion of the money you spend on said tchotcke actually goes toward research. Just cut out the middle man and donate more.

Facebook: But it's pink...

Me: No tchotckes! These memes are ridiculous.

Facebook: Well, have you at least signed up to attend the event to wear purple to help end gay teenage suicide?

Me: I think we need to break up again, Facebook*.

*I'm not leaving Facebook. But seriously, these memes are getting out of hand.

Do people honestly believe they are helping the causes by participating in such triviality? Wearing a certain colour or participating in the 21st century version of a chain letter is not going to cure cancer or end suicide attempts.

Donations of money and time will.

Instead of buying that pink tchotcke, donate the money directly to the cause. Besides, you don't need that tchotcke. It's only going to collect dust and in six months end up in the donation pile.

Instead of just wearing a particular colour on a particular day, volunteer your time to the cause you are trying to bring awareness to through your fashion.

Let's be honest, no one who doesn't already know what the colour stands for is going to be moved to ask what cause your colour represents. You are not going to bring awareness to the world through your spiffy Hanes comfort fit t-shirt. Volunteering your time is the best way to get the word out. You don't have to become a professional volunteer. An hour a week is enough. Trust me, they will be grateful you even showed up.

If you care that much, do something. Volunteer! Don't have the time? Donate money! Don't have the money? Stop buying those damn tchotckes, and give the funds to the cause instead.

But enough with the memes, colour coding and chain letter status updates.

square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)
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"Man, for a nun, she sure does read an awful lot of porn."
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (every sad story needs nuns)

Rasputin, above, chilling out during healthier times, in what I can only assume is a comfortable position for him.

My cat is dying.

This is why I returned to Facebook. Because my ex boyfriend, my long patient friend,Neil went on a hunt across the internet to track me down and let me know that he [Rasputin] was dying.

I originally left Facebook for so many reasons. But I didn't think of the reasons why I should stay. It is a decent way of tracking down people to give them information.

It was a message to my husband on Facebook that lead to the news of Rasputin's ill health and a phone call connecting me with a friend I haven't spoken with in quite a while.

I can't imagine how I would feel if I found out that Rasputin had died, instead of Rasputin is dying. It's a trivial matter of language, I can do nothing for Rasputin knowing ahead of time. But it's a comfort knowing that I can think of Rasputin before he dies. It's silly, but it's something.

Putting words in pretty order normally makes me feel better during times like this. But all I can think about is Rasputin, my dying cat.


Received message from Neil. Rasputin died this morning. He went in his sleep.

R.I.P., you goofy cat. You are very much loved and you will be missed greatly.
square_root_of_pi: creepy club (proud geek)
Cliff: I'm not a rule lawyer. I'm a rules paralegal.


Jonathan: Oh rules paralegal, how much is a metal weapon?


Kenny: You seem a decent fella, I hate to kill you.


Jonathan: We have a sick man. Yeah, he's probably not going to make it. Well, more water for the rest of us.


Kenny: Can I take 10?
Jonathan: You can take 10.
Kenny: I'm at 21.
Jonathan: Fuck.


Kenny: Man's gotta eat, dwarves gotta mine.


Cliff: (explaining certain rules of combat)
Kenny: The rules paralegal hath spoketh.


Jonathan: Merchant will miss Larn.
Chris: (singsongy whisper) I miss you.


Cliff: I'm not dead, I'm bleeding.
(rolls natural 20)

Group: Laughs and cheers

Jonathan: Bitch is back!
Blair: Essentially you bounced off the ground.


Jonathan: Who is up next?
Group: (in unison) I don't know.
Jonathan: Right, that is up to me.

Cliff: DON'T (pounds) YOU (pounds) DIE (pounds) ON (pounds) ME! is the extent of my medical knowledge.


Blair: I don't think sitting on his chest is going to help.



square_root_of_pi: creepy club (Default)

August 2012

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